A strangeness that grows

I don't know if I can call myself brave or courageous (though I do know that I have been called names to the contrary more than once) but I have always known that my hearing loss is progressive in nature, that it was expected to grow and I think by and large I have dealt with it in a proper way...dealing with various hearing environments and hearing instruments.

It does seem that I have lived various lives and survived the heartbreaks involved, what with each hearing instrument needing time to get adjusted to (and promising a better "quality of life")  various visits for audiology and reprogramming, etc.while the hearing loss has increased as the years have telescoped into more than a decade..

This increase in hearing loss has been evident to me, as it is tougher now than it was two years back to follow familiar voices (of the few friends who are in touch) and family (especially the little man), and these days when my hearing is unaided, for all purposes I seem to be residing in a voiceless, mute world.

As such it wasn't exactly surprising to know (through yet another session of audiology)  that I have crossed the century mark (110 Decibels) in terms of hearing loss in both the ears. And I am told that I will need to go in for a new set of hearing instruments, yet again.

Which is a bit baffling to understand because even though it is termed "progressive" hearing loss is supposed to be stopped from growing by the usage of hearing instruments. And yes, I do use two very sophisticated hearing instruments (they are small, colour coded, buzzing with life and came costing quite a packet), that I have been using them for close to two years now.

Hearing instruments that came highly recommended and were very helpful in the first two months (the trial period) but thereafter haven't been able to do much.

And while I (in a detached and stoic way) try to puzzle out how I got conned into a "discount" offer and what to do about it, I am also trying to puzzle out (in an even more detached and stoic way) what I can do about this growing strangeness which ensures that people who want to meet up and network with a lot of enthusiasm ultimately don't, prospective employers show interest and then let it fizzle out and even something as low-tech and common as catching a train becomes a challenge.

And, in a "perfect" world, learn to live with the embarrassment of ears (and highly hyped hearing instruments) that don't work.