"You write well...your honesty is admirable..."

The nice people on the matrimonial website where I have had a
"paid" membership have given me an extension of three days. And
prior to the expiration of my "premium" membership, they even
reminded me to renew my membership fast...and to avail the special
spotlight feature for my profile.

Which is all very fine and in fact pretty forward-looking and
customer focused and market led of them. But "spotlight" on
what? Pray?

My ears? My poetic angst? Or my "admirable honesty"?

Oh well, probably I am just being strongly satirical here or
you may want to call this a mild case of gallows humour (of the
matrimonial kind) but yes (and I am sure you know it too)
matrimonial sites are where the action is, for all those intent
on getting hitched "fast" and "settling" down and it is where the
posturing and masquerading and marketing (that goes along with
showing oneself in the best light)is...

Yes, I have been on these sites before and no I wasn't expecting
miraculous results, but still...

And yes, as usual, I wonder if I am probably too open, easy-going
artless and unsophisticated for my own good. Or probably intent
on being truthful to a fault. And as you can very well expect,
these approaches don't work in a world that is getting more and
more literal everyday, when most of us are led to believe that
we are perfect (and virtuous and settled down) and should ensure
we stay that way by allying with others who are the same.

The company we keep and all that marketing jargon if you will...

So I guess -- by extension -- I am a misfit on matrimonial sites
too. Or maybe the ladies (or their chaperones) I have been
fortunate enough to interact with google me and land up here.

Well you do the math thereafter.

"Angsty poet" + "rootless motorcyclist" + "romantic tree lover" +
"unsettled consultant" + "obscure writer" doesn't add up to much,
no?

And then again, there would be the other stereotyping at play,
(since this blog mentions my being Hard of Hearing, rants about
my troubles when employed, questions my employability and so on)
making me a prospective minefield, I guess...:-)

Whatever it be, the sum total is that I don't probably weigh in
as substantial enough to be pursued as a prospective alliance.
Let's leave all that jazz about intelligence, compatibility,
common interests, etc.

Or, everyone is just too tired and expects to find the "finished
item" who has excellent phone skills, travels extensively (which
not only means he is culturally polished -- and has hotel napkins
et al to gift -- but can immediately "come" meet up) earns
big bucks, etcetera, etcetera...

Who knows, I am certainly not a woman intent (allegedly) on
getting married and I am certainly not someone who
understands them that well. Nor am I someone who is unaware of
what an average reader's reaction would be on reading "hearing
aids" on a matrimonial profile.

But then, this blog post is not about all that and in
fairness, to each one his / her own. What I find surprising is
that of a substantial number of those who "liked" my profile,
(and went on to praise it too) not many showed any interest in
taking things ahead. A bit indicative of a mindset that goes
like -- "Poetry, travel, photography, motorcycling is fine,
but I would prefer someone who is a regular guy doing a
regular job".

Oh well, like I said before -- to each, his / her own
and (no, I don't go by gender stereotypes) maybe that is
what is called "feminine logic" or whatever else...

I do know that I have been a bit too frank with that profile,
but it will stay that way, thank you.

And yes, if you have seen it and said / felt "you write well..."
hey...why, thank you! And wish you all the best for a happily
married life!

P.S. -- This post is not taking any potshots at matrimonial sites.
I still feel they are the best way to meet people; else I wouldn't
be a paid member on one. This post is about my own experience
on a particular matrimonial site and indicative (if at all) of
what confounds people like me or indicative (if at all) of how the
marriageable among the fairer sex (or their chaperones) look at
"getting married".

P.P.S -- This one is not needed -- especially if you know me :-)
Yes, I don't believe in gender stereotypes and I also believe
that it is the man who should do the wooing. But there is only
so much one can do, without "phone skills" and if the other
party gets literal and panicky...no?